Hello again siblings,
About a week ago, after he had fallen just outside the back steps when he went to fill the bird feeder, I had asked Dad not to go out of the house without help, to which he had replied "I don't want to be imprisoned". I responded with "I don't want to be imprisoned by your getting injured and confined even further" or words to that effect. Then, the night before last, he fell while getting out of the tub (again) but didn't call me. At least he told me about it the next day, although it may only have been because he had pulled the shower curtain rod loose and it needed repair (thankfully it could be repaired fairly easily). Obviously his balance and control is getting worse, although I'm grateful that he wasn't badly hurt in any of those tumbles.
We had held off on moving Dad into the RV at our place because we were working on plans for him to go to Carol's, because he wants to be independent, and because I had thought he'd be alright if he didn't try to do too much. Maybe I should have moved him up here sooner . . .
In anticipation of Dad's going to Carol and Barb's this next week and to Bert's for about a month after Memorial Day, I had gone to the pharmacy and gotten enough of Dad's prescriptions to last until the end of June. Then, yesterday, I took him to see a psychiatrist for the first time, and Dr. Neerukonda wants to change Dad's prescriptions, so just as I had gotten Dad to take Aricept (a drug intended to help with dementia and memory loss), he's not going to take it anymore. He also will not be taking Paxil to help with depression anymore (can any of you use about a month's worth?). Dr. Neerukonda also wants to have Dad stop taking Toprol, which is a beta-blocker intended to help with heart function, but we're waiting to hear back from Dr. Coch's office about whether he'll go along with that change. Dr. Neerukonda didn't want to prescribe that change without his approval. He recommends all of these changes because he thinks all of those drugs may actually be contributing to his increasing confusion, and has prescribed another drug (Lexapro) instead. I'll have to be sure I get enough of that to go until he returns to Alfred, and will write up his medication regimen for Carol and Bert.
But now I am thinking perhaps Dad should stay home (and maybe in the RV, up here on the hill) another week so I can observe what changes are exhibited with the changes in medication. Compounding that, Dr. Neerukonda wants to see Dad again in the middle of June, but I think if Dad is doing well, I'll postpone that appointment. I'll call and talk with you about this, Carol.
Meanwhile, on another front, I have stopped aggressively looking for employment, but I have been working with the administration of Alfred University and of Alfred State College, on creating a job for myself, as sustainability coordinator for both campuses. I had written to A.U. President Charley Edmondson, and have now contacted A.S.C.'s Provost's office and suggested that they each create a half-time position of sustainability coordinator. I've also talked with a village trustee about them adding the same function to a part-time clerk position they're considering creating. Then, yesterday, I got a call from the former wife of a past A.U. provost, who runs a used book shop in Wellsville. I had stopped in there almost 15 years ago when she was thinking about selling the shop and moving to Florida, and told her I might be interested in taking over the shop. But then she changed her mind and decided to stay put. Anyway, she called yesterday and told me she's retiring and would sell me the business any time over the next year, but if I'm not interested she'll just sell off the inventory and close up shop. She has a regular clientele and a lease that runs until 2010, with rent of $400.00 a month, and brings in about $17,000.00 per year while operating 5 days a week for 6 hours per day (all but Sunday and Tuesday). I don't know if it would make sense for me to try to do it or not, but I feel I ought to consider it.
Anyway, I'll be in touch with Carol and Barb sometime today (since they were coming to get Dad tomorrow), and will see most of the rest of you in a week.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
mural painting and memorial day
Yes, I agree with putting nieces and nephews on the blog! Count me in.
Today, Barb and I are headed to Roch-cha-cha so that I can work on the Schloss mural again. We will stay overnight with pals, Dave and Rich, officers of Rochester Naturist Society who live in Morley's house now. We will probably get the chance for a dinner or two with them at local eateries. Morley's house is very near the Monroe Ave business district of Rochester where stores range from "Archimage" with world and hippie goods to "Show World" with sexuals goods whilst restaurants range from "Gitsis" home cooking to "The Plum House" sushi bar and Japenese fare and from middle eastern food to hotdogs. I love the area. But I will be in the basement painting most of the time.
This weekend we will be celebrating grandson Kris' birthday and his sister Kati's graduation from Cobleskill with associate degree. Kati plans to continue her studies toward a graphic arts degree in Oswego this fall. We are not sure we will be able to attend Kati's grduation ceremony because it is severely limited if weather pushes it inside, so we are taking the RV to camp out in wherever the family is.
Barb and I look forward to hosting everyone available Memorial Day weekend. Does anyone want to participate in a Peace March with Barb's NSP group on Monday? We are thinking of shooting off fireworks that we got on our way back from Florida, if Doug can be there to set them off. We plan to invite the near neighbors for that. Doug, will you be sailing with Dick Sands that weekend as usual? Sunday and Monday? Sherm, we will miss you, but do enjoy Switzerland.
Hugs to all. Carol
Today, Barb and I are headed to Roch-cha-cha so that I can work on the Schloss mural again. We will stay overnight with pals, Dave and Rich, officers of Rochester Naturist Society who live in Morley's house now. We will probably get the chance for a dinner or two with them at local eateries. Morley's house is very near the Monroe Ave business district of Rochester where stores range from "Archimage" with world and hippie goods to "Show World" with sexuals goods whilst restaurants range from "Gitsis" home cooking to "The Plum House" sushi bar and Japenese fare and from middle eastern food to hotdogs. I love the area. But I will be in the basement painting most of the time.
This weekend we will be celebrating grandson Kris' birthday and his sister Kati's graduation from Cobleskill with associate degree. Kati plans to continue her studies toward a graphic arts degree in Oswego this fall. We are not sure we will be able to attend Kati's grduation ceremony because it is severely limited if weather pushes it inside, so we are taking the RV to camp out in wherever the family is.
Barb and I look forward to hosting everyone available Memorial Day weekend. Does anyone want to participate in a Peace March with Barb's NSP group on Monday? We are thinking of shooting off fireworks that we got on our way back from Florida, if Doug can be there to set them off. We plan to invite the near neighbors for that. Doug, will you be sailing with Dick Sands that weekend as usual? Sunday and Monday? Sherm, we will miss you, but do enjoy Switzerland.
Hugs to all. Carol
Sunday, May 13, 2007
new post(s)
Doug and all,
I hadn't been here for a while except to post my Swiss flight info. I'm doubly anxious about the trip: I strained my back yesterday morning so wondering about this frail body we shlep around (which of course brings the Dad saga to mind); Mac and I had dinner last night to talk about plans for Switzerland and it wasn't a free-flow conversation. I'm not sure this will work out so well but, hey, I just have to keep it in perspective.
The various posts about Dad evoked a wide mix of emotions. I am so sorry that my stuff at 33 is adding a layer of havoc. I wonder if it would make sense to move it all to a storage facility. Sometimes, I wish it would all fall off the face of the earth but not really. I'm sure in your bleak moments you too wish that ... but only a very short moment: no more than the time to have the thought and banish it.
I don't have a problem with nieces and nephews on the blog. I agree that a new post is more obvious than a new comment even if you have access to the "edit posts" table where comments are listed.
As I said to myself in my diary (but not blog, more below), I so hope that I don't live to the point where I'm more worried about if I'm there than being there. That is, even more than losing my mind, I don't want to lose my way. I was very envious of the woman who wrote in the Times Magazine a while ago about her cancer diagnosis and deciding not to get treated but to find the cabin she had always wanted and spent the last few months writing. My friend Tee also seemed to have control of her dying. As I mailed the newsletters last night at the 24/7 postoffice, there were a couple old guys there. One was at the window, the other shuffled up but was dismissed by the one at the window. They looked more like relatives than partners or roommates. I thought of Dad shuffling around to try to accomplish a relatively minor task, emphasis on the task because minor is of course relative to a whole lot of things. If you lack physical dexterity, getting the fork into your mouth can be a major task.
My level of distraction must be in high gear today. I've drifted off to several other tasks (relatively minor) as I've been trying to write this post. It has severed the relationship to my memory of Doug's posts. Of course that is one advantage of commenting rather than newposting; you can get to the original entry easier ... of course I could save and edit after re-reading. Or even edit after publishing.
Mac and I are going to "American Fiesta" this afternoon -- a play about Fiestaware with a gay subtheme and red/blue states thrown in for good measure. cf http://www.vineyardtheatre.org/AmericanFiesta.htm So I better get cracking on eliminating messages or my email box will be stuffed before I even get to the airport. If you're sending messages during the rest of the month, please send to sherman.clarke@gmail.com which had a bigger capacity.
Love to you all.....
Sherman
I hadn't been here for a while except to post my Swiss flight info. I'm doubly anxious about the trip: I strained my back yesterday morning so wondering about this frail body we shlep around (which of course brings the Dad saga to mind); Mac and I had dinner last night to talk about plans for Switzerland and it wasn't a free-flow conversation. I'm not sure this will work out so well but, hey, I just have to keep it in perspective.
The various posts about Dad evoked a wide mix of emotions. I am so sorry that my stuff at 33 is adding a layer of havoc. I wonder if it would make sense to move it all to a storage facility. Sometimes, I wish it would all fall off the face of the earth but not really. I'm sure in your bleak moments you too wish that ... but only a very short moment: no more than the time to have the thought and banish it.
I don't have a problem with nieces and nephews on the blog. I agree that a new post is more obvious than a new comment even if you have access to the "edit posts" table where comments are listed.
As I said to myself in my diary (but not blog, more below), I so hope that I don't live to the point where I'm more worried about if I'm there than being there. That is, even more than losing my mind, I don't want to lose my way. I was very envious of the woman who wrote in the Times Magazine a while ago about her cancer diagnosis and deciding not to get treated but to find the cabin she had always wanted and spent the last few months writing. My friend Tee also seemed to have control of her dying. As I mailed the newsletters last night at the 24/7 postoffice, there were a couple old guys there. One was at the window, the other shuffled up but was dismissed by the one at the window. They looked more like relatives than partners or roommates. I thought of Dad shuffling around to try to accomplish a relatively minor task, emphasis on the task because minor is of course relative to a whole lot of things. If you lack physical dexterity, getting the fork into your mouth can be a major task.
My level of distraction must be in high gear today. I've drifted off to several other tasks (relatively minor) as I've been trying to write this post. It has severed the relationship to my memory of Doug's posts. Of course that is one advantage of commenting rather than newposting; you can get to the original entry easier ... of course I could save and edit after re-reading. Or even edit after publishing.
Mac and I are going to "American Fiesta" this afternoon -- a play about Fiestaware with a gay subtheme and red/blue states thrown in for good measure. cf http://www.vineyardtheatre.org/AmericanFiesta.htm So I better get cracking on eliminating messages or my email box will be stuffed before I even get to the airport. If you're sending messages during the rest of the month, please send to sherman.clarke@gmail.com which had a bigger capacity.
Love to you all.....
Sherman
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Should I?
Hello Siblings,
Should I open this blog to our respective children?
Or should I only include them in the cousins blog?
Please let me know what you think.
Also, I understand Sherm will not be at Carol and Barb's on Memorial Day. Will everyone else be there?
How many of you can come to Alfred for the week-end of July 21? That is the occasion on which Dad's 70th high-school reunion will be celebrated. I hope we can all be here for that one. I've contacted some of his classmates and, of course, Hub Watson recently died, so he won't be there for that one. But I have been in touch with his sons and am trying to get the movie of Dad and Hub and Lloyd Watson converted to digital format. I need to get busy putting together a short show for the the A-ACS banquet, to honor the class of '37.
More later,
Doug
Should I open this blog to our respective children?
Or should I only include them in the cousins blog?
Please let me know what you think.
Also, I understand Sherm will not be at Carol and Barb's on Memorial Day. Will everyone else be there?
How many of you can come to Alfred for the week-end of July 21? That is the occasion on which Dad's 70th high-school reunion will be celebrated. I hope we can all be here for that one. I've contacted some of his classmates and, of course, Hub Watson recently died, so he won't be there for that one. But I have been in touch with his sons and am trying to get the movie of Dad and Hub and Lloyd Watson converted to digital format. I need to get busy putting together a short show for the the A-ACS banquet, to honor the class of '37.
More later,
Doug
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Loggerheads, watersheds, or butting heads
Hello Siblings and hopefully nephews and nieces, eventually:
One of my recent comment entries was what I called a pity party and I've been trying to move forward from that, so here's my next attempt:
I'm quite concerned about Dad, right when I had been hoping we had gotten things under control.
It seems that Dad fell off the stool in his kitchen a couple weeks ago. He hit his tail-bone hard and then bounced onto his back and ended up with pain in the ribs on one side. His home aid came in that day but he didn't tell her about it. I visited him and had two meals with him that day but he didn't tell me he had fallen. We were at church and checked on him later and he still didn't tell me he had fallen.
I learned about Dad's fall from Sharon (Higgins) who saw him leaving Jean Snyder's memorial and judged that he wouldn't make it home, when she called me later on that Sunday evening, three days after he had fallen. She got her Dad and Lyle Palmiter to drive him home, and he admitted later that he had sensed when he got up in the church that he something was not right. But he didn't have them call me.
He has heard me say, over and over, that I really want him to tell me what's going on. He says he doesn't want to trouble me but I told him Jeanette and I moved back to Alfred to take care of him and Mom, TWENTY YEARS AGO, so it's pretty ridiculous to "spare" me the trouble. We gave up lots of other options to come and stay here.
Anyway, I arranged for an appointment for Dad with Dr. Coch, but I couldn't go to that appointment, so Claire Randolph took him. I'm not sure what was discussed, and have been trying to get in touch with the Doctor since then, but unsuccessfully.
Ok, so I had drafted this much but not posted it, about a week ago . . . and now there's more to tell: I had arranged for Dad to be seen by a counselor and she has set up an appointment with a psychiatrist in a couple weeks. In the session with Dad and her, I said that it hurt my feelings when Dad didn't tell me about his falls and so on, and she told Dad she thought I made some good points, but he didn't really respond to that. Since then, Dad fell again -- evidently on Monday -- and didn't tell me. When the home health aid came on Tuesday, he told her, but only told me when I happened to call to check on him before she left. She was very concerned and didn't want to leave until I got there, but Dad plays it all down.
Since then, I've talked with Dad more about all of this and how the whole idea is for him to let me know what's going on so I can help him, and reminded him yet again that not telling me makes things HARDER, not easier. I also moved the RV up to our place in anticipation of having him stay in it, so he can be sort of independent, but close enough so I can get things done around here and we won't have to move into 33. We really want to get a bunch of work done on our house so Dad would be able to eventually stay in the "spare" bedroom, by winter, when I plan to have our new bedroom suite (downstairs) done. I hope to get the second floor at 33 cleaned out and refurbished enough to rent out, by the fall, as well (the kitchen plumbing needs to be re-done, our stuff needs to be packed up and moved out, and I'll need to figure out a way to organize Sherm's stuff). Meanwhile, I started tilling the garden (the first time in several years) and am working on our spring cleaning, too, so when Jeanette left work yesterday she picked up Dad and brought him up to "Would Knot on Hemlock Hill" so he could have supper with us on the deck. I turned my back on him for just a moment after I got him upstairs, and he tumbled over as he was stepping out onto the deck (no step, just a threshold) but didn't hurt himself. But that's what we've come to.
Dr. Coch had given him Aricept to help with his short-term memory (which really has gotten almost completely ineffectual), but he stopped taking it after a week because he said it was giving him strange dreams and causing him to wake up at night. After much cajoling, I got him to take the Aricept (just starting yesterday) in the morning, so I'm hoping it will help him stay awake in the morning but help with his memory, as it seemed to be, the first time he started taking it. He is falling asleep in his chair at all hours and has fallen asleep a number of times with a coffee cup in his hand. Yesterday he had taken a mid-morning nap and gotten all confused about time and what had happened.
So, my tentative plan is to get him set up in the RV for now, then take him to Carol and Barb's at least for Memorial Day, and then Bert will take him to Queensbury for a while, and we'll go from there, since we've talked about him going to Cathy's and Carol's for a respective spell, too.
Dad received a letter from Greta Potter's daughters saying they had just moved Greta into a nursing home and that her memory was not so good but she'd love to hear from old friends. I'm working on a similar letter to send to Dad and Mom's and Ethel's friends and our cousins, because it's just getting difficult to even carry on conversations with Dad (at least for me) at times, and even casual observers have said things like "Your Dad has failed a lot this year, hasn't he?". He has brilliant moments, but I figure I may be editing and publishing his books after he's gone, unless the Aricept and the counselor and psychiatrist can help him get some initiative and vim and vigor back.
Anyway, I'd been meaning to post something here for a long time, and waking up at 4:30 this morning, for no particular reason, gave me the opportunity.
One of my recent comment entries was what I called a pity party and I've been trying to move forward from that, so here's my next attempt:
I'm quite concerned about Dad, right when I had been hoping we had gotten things under control.
It seems that Dad fell off the stool in his kitchen a couple weeks ago. He hit his tail-bone hard and then bounced onto his back and ended up with pain in the ribs on one side. His home aid came in that day but he didn't tell her about it. I visited him and had two meals with him that day but he didn't tell me he had fallen. We were at church and checked on him later and he still didn't tell me he had fallen.
I learned about Dad's fall from Sharon (Higgins) who saw him leaving Jean Snyder's memorial and judged that he wouldn't make it home, when she called me later on that Sunday evening, three days after he had fallen. She got her Dad and Lyle Palmiter to drive him home, and he admitted later that he had sensed when he got up in the church that he something was not right. But he didn't have them call me.
He has heard me say, over and over, that I really want him to tell me what's going on. He says he doesn't want to trouble me but I told him Jeanette and I moved back to Alfred to take care of him and Mom, TWENTY YEARS AGO, so it's pretty ridiculous to "spare" me the trouble. We gave up lots of other options to come and stay here.
Anyway, I arranged for an appointment for Dad with Dr. Coch, but I couldn't go to that appointment, so Claire Randolph took him. I'm not sure what was discussed, and have been trying to get in touch with the Doctor since then, but unsuccessfully.
Ok, so I had drafted this much but not posted it, about a week ago . . . and now there's more to tell: I had arranged for Dad to be seen by a counselor and she has set up an appointment with a psychiatrist in a couple weeks. In the session with Dad and her, I said that it hurt my feelings when Dad didn't tell me about his falls and so on, and she told Dad she thought I made some good points, but he didn't really respond to that. Since then, Dad fell again -- evidently on Monday -- and didn't tell me. When the home health aid came on Tuesday, he told her, but only told me when I happened to call to check on him before she left. She was very concerned and didn't want to leave until I got there, but Dad plays it all down.
Since then, I've talked with Dad more about all of this and how the whole idea is for him to let me know what's going on so I can help him, and reminded him yet again that not telling me makes things HARDER, not easier. I also moved the RV up to our place in anticipation of having him stay in it, so he can be sort of independent, but close enough so I can get things done around here and we won't have to move into 33. We really want to get a bunch of work done on our house so Dad would be able to eventually stay in the "spare" bedroom, by winter, when I plan to have our new bedroom suite (downstairs) done. I hope to get the second floor at 33 cleaned out and refurbished enough to rent out, by the fall, as well (the kitchen plumbing needs to be re-done, our stuff needs to be packed up and moved out, and I'll need to figure out a way to organize Sherm's stuff). Meanwhile, I started tilling the garden (the first time in several years) and am working on our spring cleaning, too, so when Jeanette left work yesterday she picked up Dad and brought him up to "Would Knot on Hemlock Hill" so he could have supper with us on the deck. I turned my back on him for just a moment after I got him upstairs, and he tumbled over as he was stepping out onto the deck (no step, just a threshold) but didn't hurt himself. But that's what we've come to.
Dr. Coch had given him Aricept to help with his short-term memory (which really has gotten almost completely ineffectual), but he stopped taking it after a week because he said it was giving him strange dreams and causing him to wake up at night. After much cajoling, I got him to take the Aricept (just starting yesterday) in the morning, so I'm hoping it will help him stay awake in the morning but help with his memory, as it seemed to be, the first time he started taking it. He is falling asleep in his chair at all hours and has fallen asleep a number of times with a coffee cup in his hand. Yesterday he had taken a mid-morning nap and gotten all confused about time and what had happened.
So, my tentative plan is to get him set up in the RV for now, then take him to Carol and Barb's at least for Memorial Day, and then Bert will take him to Queensbury for a while, and we'll go from there, since we've talked about him going to Cathy's and Carol's for a respective spell, too.
Dad received a letter from Greta Potter's daughters saying they had just moved Greta into a nursing home and that her memory was not so good but she'd love to hear from old friends. I'm working on a similar letter to send to Dad and Mom's and Ethel's friends and our cousins, because it's just getting difficult to even carry on conversations with Dad (at least for me) at times, and even casual observers have said things like "Your Dad has failed a lot this year, hasn't he?". He has brilliant moments, but I figure I may be editing and publishing his books after he's gone, unless the Aricept and the counselor and psychiatrist can help him get some initiative and vim and vigor back.
Anyway, I'd been meaning to post something here for a long time, and waking up at 4:30 this morning, for no particular reason, gave me the opportunity.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
sherman in switzerland may 15-30
May schedule:
15MAY 1640 LATEST CHECK-IN TIME
TERMINAL 1
1810 NEW YORK JFK LX 017 OK
16MAY 0820 ZURICH ZRH ECONOMY PC
30MAY 1150 LATEST CHECK-IN TIME
1300 ZURICH ZRH LX 014 OK
1540 NEW YORK JFK ECONOMY PC
TERMINAL 1
I don't anticipate that I'll get into email much if at all. Still, there might be that internet cafe just screaming for me to enter and type .... though I'd probably rather smoke and drink coffee.
Life has been mad since getting back from ARLIS but the conference was good. Atlanta was fine. Daniel, Elizabeth and I had a nice day of driving about the day before the conference ... which seems like it was about three lifetimes ago. We stopped at Wilson's Soul Food in Athens, near the UGa campus. And I quote: "You're from NYC? And you came to Wilson's? That's great." The food was good. The ambience was wonderful. Later, a cobbler and ice cream in a classical revival smalltown bank turned restaurant with glazed terra cotta facade in Madison. The building was lovely, the cobbler was good.
15MAY 1640 LATEST CHECK-IN TIME
TERMINAL 1
1810 NEW YORK JFK LX 017 OK
16MAY 0820 ZURICH ZRH ECONOMY PC
30MAY 1150 LATEST CHECK-IN TIME
1300 ZURICH ZRH LX 014 OK
1540 NEW YORK JFK ECONOMY PC
TERMINAL 1
I don't anticipate that I'll get into email much if at all. Still, there might be that internet cafe just screaming for me to enter and type .... though I'd probably rather smoke and drink coffee.
Life has been mad since getting back from ARLIS but the conference was good. Atlanta was fine. Daniel, Elizabeth and I had a nice day of driving about the day before the conference ... which seems like it was about three lifetimes ago. We stopped at Wilson's Soul Food in Athens, near the UGa campus. And I quote: "You're from NYC? And you came to Wilson's? That's great." The food was good. The ambience was wonderful. Later, a cobbler and ice cream in a classical revival smalltown bank turned restaurant with glazed terra cotta facade in Madison. The building was lovely, the cobbler was good.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Hey Sibs
I just e-mailed my Supervisor for time off on May 25, so that I may get away to my Memorial Day weekend with my family.
I am in the middle of a discussion of time use, as possible President of a business organization. I hope that it will be resolved before Friday when the day- long, yearly Institute is held.
Lots of things on my plate, including concern for Dad's health and well-being. Can't wait to see you all at the end of the month.
Strength and peace to you all.
Cathy, the middle one
I am in the middle of a discussion of time use, as possible President of a business organization. I hope that it will be resolved before Friday when the day- long, yearly Institute is held.
Lots of things on my plate, including concern for Dad's health and well-being. Can't wait to see you all at the end of the month.
Strength and peace to you all.
Cathy, the middle one
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