Hello family,
Evidently the Universe (if it may be presumed to have Will) didn't want us to go to South Carolina this week, if last week may be seen as an indicator. Ergo:
On Monday, I got a call asking if I could interview next week, for employment as Facilities Manager at the Alfred University Equestrian Center. I asked if it could be scheduled for the following week.
Tuesday, after Jeanette had bought groceries and done many preparations over the week-end, Ian's Cub Scout banquet was canceled because a winter storm was coming in.
Wednesday, with a foot of snow on the ground, school was canceled so Jeanette stayed home and Ian spent part of the day at a friend's house, while I spent most of Valentine's day plowing and shoveling driveways and sidewalks. The decision to close schools on Thursday also, did not reach Jeanette as it was supposed to.
So, on Thursday, Jeanette got up and started for school, not hearing that school was closed when she checked the Wellsville radio station. I got an e-mail and heard it on the Hornell station, after she left the house. Later that day, Dad got his reminder call about a follow-up examination with Dr. Coch and, although I knew about the appointment, I hadn't gotten it onto my calendar. With Ian home, we had one of his friends over for the day so his father could go to work. Then there was a small fire at Sam Scholes' house, so I assisted with putting that out and getting the smoke out and so on.
All of the above meant that little time was left on Friday to get ready for a trip, and an ambulance call Friday morning cut into that. While I was driving the ambulance, Dad got a call from Lois and spoke with Ethel on the telephone, with the result that he decided our trip was not necessary, for him.
A little later, Dad and I met with Doctor Coch after waiting for more than forty-five minutes, and discussed loss of memory and depression and skin cancer. Bill re-assured Dad that his loss of memory was pretty normal and happens to everyone to some degree. He also told him that he's convinced Dad does not have any form of dementia, but I know Dad is frustrated with it.
Dad said his digestion was better (probably because he's taking 80 mg. enteric aspirin instead of 300 mg. regular aspirin, daily) but we all surmised that although he was feeling some better, perhaps the effect of cold and gray weather had resulted in little net improvement. So Bill had Dad move up to 20 mg. per day of anti-depressant, and he biopsied a mole on Dad's right arm that had snagged on something when Dad was dressing. We were glad Dad had mentioned it to me, as Bill said it looked like another squamous cell cancer. He'll remove it there at his office, if the biopsy comes back as positive for cancer.
When Jeanette was leaving school, she stumbled on the stairs and heard a pop in her ankle and knee, but declined to go to the Emergency Room that night, and we resigned ourselves to staying home for the week, under all these circumstances.
After church and lunch yesterday, we persuaded Jeanette to go to the Emergency Room, where they confirmed that her ankle is sprained but apparently not broken. She went to Camp Planning Committee meeting this morning, but is supposed to keep her leg elevated, iced and splinted for the remainder of the week, so I guess I'll see if they want to do my interview this week, after all.
Cathy and Sherm, do you want to try to come to Alfred next weekend, after all? Let me know, so we can prepare, please.
I just wanted you all to know what's up . . .
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Friday, February 2, 2007
Travel and travail
Hey Family,
I've been home with Ian since Tuesday: he's had a fever and cough and congestion and headache, and I've had a lesser version of them. I think he'll probably head to school today, however.
I'm up early today because Ian woke me at 3:30 or so to tell me that he had discovered that Midnight (was Carol's cat until about a month ago) had thrown up. I had been dreaming something delicious, evidently, although I can't recall what. I had to pee, too, so I got up and took care of that and the cat puke. Then I asked Ian what he might do differently the next time the cat throws up. He said he'd clean it up himself and I said I thought that was a good idea. I had specifically gotten a substitute for my ambulance-driving night because I didn't feel up to being awakened, and have been having headaches all week.
We're planning, at this point, to drive Dad to Bob and Lois Edwards' beginning the 17th of this month, while Ian and Jeanette have winter break. We'll leave Dad there to spend some time and assuage his conscience and so on, and I'll take J. and I. to Columbia, SC so we can see her uncle, who has just had his third pacemaker installed. After a visit there, I'll leave J. and I., and head to the beach to see a few friends and maybe run down to Charleston to get some solitude.
Then I'll start north, gathering family members along the way, returning home by the morning of the 25th, so Ian can go bowling with the Cub Scouts and we can recover before they have to go back to school.
I wanted you all to know what we're planning, and to know that Hub Watson died early yesterday morning, so we'll probably be taking Dad to Rochester for a memorial service sometime soon.
I've been home with Ian since Tuesday: he's had a fever and cough and congestion and headache, and I've had a lesser version of them. I think he'll probably head to school today, however.
I'm up early today because Ian woke me at 3:30 or so to tell me that he had discovered that Midnight (was Carol's cat until about a month ago) had thrown up. I had been dreaming something delicious, evidently, although I can't recall what. I had to pee, too, so I got up and took care of that and the cat puke. Then I asked Ian what he might do differently the next time the cat throws up. He said he'd clean it up himself and I said I thought that was a good idea. I had specifically gotten a substitute for my ambulance-driving night because I didn't feel up to being awakened, and have been having headaches all week.
We're planning, at this point, to drive Dad to Bob and Lois Edwards' beginning the 17th of this month, while Ian and Jeanette have winter break. We'll leave Dad there to spend some time and assuage his conscience and so on, and I'll take J. and I. to Columbia, SC so we can see her uncle, who has just had his third pacemaker installed. After a visit there, I'll leave J. and I., and head to the beach to see a few friends and maybe run down to Charleston to get some solitude.
Then I'll start north, gathering family members along the way, returning home by the morning of the 25th, so Ian can go bowling with the Cub Scouts and we can recover before they have to go back to school.
I wanted you all to know what we're planning, and to know that Hub Watson died early yesterday morning, so we'll probably be taking Dad to Rochester for a memorial service sometime soon.
Aunt Nellie's Round Robin letter, and DSC's sense of inadequacy
April 8, 1967
Dear Ahvagene, Wilna, Mary, Virginia and Elizabeth,
You'd better ask someone to get the smelling salts when you get this
letter. Ha Ha. Well, well, well. This is a beautiful day. The sun is
pouring in the living room making our golden flowers that Burton and Carol
Crandall gave us for our 25th wedding anniversary dazzling. Mandy is
spending the afternoon experimenting with hairdos. I have shortened Wyn's
evening dress for Mandy to wear to the candlelight ball tonight - a dance at
the Hornell high school put on by the Horizon Club of the Campfire Girls.
Wyn is off somewhere in the star covered VW. Bill is working in the yard.
I have some great music on the Rochester "good music" station. I think it
is a Charles Ives composition. As Mary says, "The facts of being born and
growing and thinking are more wonderful than all the dogmas in the world."
Right now our church is in somewhat of a turmoil, but I think it is all to
the good if it doesn't kill David and Fran. I have come to admire and
respect them more all the time. I wish David had more confidence in
himself. I do think he has courage and wants so much to be of service! It'
s sad when someone wants so much to improve a situation - and to be of
service to others who do not want help or do not see that they might need to
change their point of view. It's human nature, of course, to resent
criticism or even a suspicion of criticism when one has been a pillar of the
church, particularly for years. It's a long story but I will tell part of
it. The young people (high school) had charge of the service last week. It
was completely their own. The music was guitar (electric) and folk songs,
readings from "The Prophet", a dance to the Lord's Prayer and talks which
questioned tradition, Bible interpretations, having grape juice instead of
wine at communion, the 10 commandments, and one boy said, "We do not want
you to answer these questions. We want to find out for ourselves." I
guarantee everyone was alert at that service. No one went to sleep, in fact
two people got up and walked out. Kenneth Kenyon and George Place told
David they were disgusted etc. One of the complications is the fact that a
Mr. and Mrs. Toland who came here two years ago and almost immediately
joined our church are very unpopular and they are sponsors of this group.
Mr. Toland is a lawyer. No one really knows why they came here. He has
many plans for this town - gets into everything, and people are suspicious
of his motives - not just the church people but many people whose opinions I
respect. His personality is definitely against him. He is constantly
pushing himself and reminding everyone of his worth. There have been
examples of his using people to his own advantage. I guess, now that I
think of it, they are all hearsay, and I can't be definite about this.
Mrs. Toland has done some interesting things with the young people and they
like her - and put up with him. Now their daughter and son-in-law, who own
a coffee shop here and made a big point of wanting a "clean place for the
students where there would be no liquor", have applied for a liquor license
so they can sell beer. David is inclined to take up for the Tolands,
sighting the many good things they have done for the community ( and they
have, such as being instrumental in getting another doctor here) and he will
not come out definitely against the beer. The young people do have some
church people seriously questioning their beliefs, and I think this is
great. The Snyder men for instance - Ken S. borrowed one of the children's
talks so he could think about how he would answer the questions in them, and
David has arranged for a discussion time next Sat afternoon as a result of
this.
I think the center of a small town is likely to be not the home or the
church but the community, and it's fascinating. The children feel this also.
We're fortunate that this town is made up of a variety of people, and I like
being with various groups: the international club, the church, our great dec
isions group, the party group, the artists, etc. Surprising as it may seem,
there is more variety here for us than in Bala Cynwyd. - at least that we
are really a part of.
It's interesting to me that the four boys who went off to private school
(George School - Quaker) at the 8th or 9th grade with the good possibility
of going on to an Ivy League College are all home again in Alfred. Tom
Randall spent one year at Syracuse, did all right but much to the surprise
of his parents, didn't want to go back and is in the design course here.
Ted Randall is doing well at Alfred Tech after floundering around here and
there. (I know their mother had dreams of Yale for both of them -that's
where their father went.) Mark Sibley started out in Weslian and is now
here in liberal arts. Rob Turner was in his second year at Swarthmore and
came home last week and announced he wasn't going back.
I find having an 18 year old at home or anywhere is difficult. This has
been a difficult year for Wyn. One should accept one's child as she is at
this point I expect and not try to change her, push her, look at her
anxiously. I feel guilty; she feels guilty; Bill feels guilty! Ugh! Here
is the adult that you brought up. She is no longer an extension of you; she
is an individual. Can parents ever accept their children that way - as
individuals with faults, strengths, weaknesses like every one else without
taking blame for the faults and feeling guilty. It's a dilemma because
guilt is a damaging thing. At a dinner party the other night a mother was
proudly telling about how her son got into Annapolis on his own initiative -
making contact with Senator Javitts etc. She had told us earlier that she
and her husband knew how to bring up children - one reason being she had
taught school for a number of years, and her methods courses had been
tremendously helpful. I thought she was stupid, and yet I bet that
confidence she has is instilled in that boy; he feels lucky he has such
confident parents, and he is ready to face the world. When you can stand
away and look at life, it's a riot.
Your letters are wonderful. Jim's poem struck me - he can stand away and
look at the army with all its inconsistencies. Bill said the motto of the
armed services is "Hurry up and wait." Hurry up to get ready to pull out
for instance, and then wait.
Mandy came home with a poor report card. Cheerleading, boys, telephone
calls, figuring our girlfriends' problems have taken precedence over all.
She has made rules for herself like no telephone calls after 6:00. It's
going to be hard. Her aptitudes in tests she took showed highest in art and
persuasives. And she has almost persuaded me she can stick to those rules.
She is interested in human relations - history, peoples' problems - and is
sensitive to feelings of others. She speaks well and does very well orally
in school but she can't write! Her spelling is atrocious!
Bill is too busy. He is president of the national arts teachers assn. -
something like that - teachers of pottery in universities. Anyway their
meeting is next week in Michigan. And he is looking forward to it because
all the work will be done then, and he likes the other men and knows most of
them well.
I have much more to say - can you believe it?
Must go.
Love,
Nellie
Dear Ahvagene, Wilna, Mary, Virginia and Elizabeth,
You'd better ask someone to get the smelling salts when you get this
letter. Ha Ha. Well, well, well. This is a beautiful day. The sun is
pouring in the living room making our golden flowers that Burton and Carol
Crandall gave us for our 25th wedding anniversary dazzling. Mandy is
spending the afternoon experimenting with hairdos. I have shortened Wyn's
evening dress for Mandy to wear to the candlelight ball tonight - a dance at
the Hornell high school put on by the Horizon Club of the Campfire Girls.
Wyn is off somewhere in the star covered VW. Bill is working in the yard.
I have some great music on the Rochester "good music" station. I think it
is a Charles Ives composition. As Mary says, "The facts of being born and
growing and thinking are more wonderful than all the dogmas in the world."
Right now our church is in somewhat of a turmoil, but I think it is all to
the good if it doesn't kill David and Fran. I have come to admire and
respect them more all the time. I wish David had more confidence in
himself. I do think he has courage and wants so much to be of service! It'
s sad when someone wants so much to improve a situation - and to be of
service to others who do not want help or do not see that they might need to
change their point of view. It's human nature, of course, to resent
criticism or even a suspicion of criticism when one has been a pillar of the
church, particularly for years. It's a long story but I will tell part of
it. The young people (high school) had charge of the service last week. It
was completely their own. The music was guitar (electric) and folk songs,
readings from "The Prophet", a dance to the Lord's Prayer and talks which
questioned tradition, Bible interpretations, having grape juice instead of
wine at communion, the 10 commandments, and one boy said, "We do not want
you to answer these questions. We want to find out for ourselves." I
guarantee everyone was alert at that service. No one went to sleep, in fact
two people got up and walked out. Kenneth Kenyon and George Place told
David they were disgusted etc. One of the complications is the fact that a
Mr. and Mrs. Toland who came here two years ago and almost immediately
joined our church are very unpopular and they are sponsors of this group.
Mr. Toland is a lawyer. No one really knows why they came here. He has
many plans for this town - gets into everything, and people are suspicious
of his motives - not just the church people but many people whose opinions I
respect. His personality is definitely against him. He is constantly
pushing himself and reminding everyone of his worth. There have been
examples of his using people to his own advantage. I guess, now that I
think of it, they are all hearsay, and I can't be definite about this.
Mrs. Toland has done some interesting things with the young people and they
like her - and put up with him. Now their daughter and son-in-law, who own
a coffee shop here and made a big point of wanting a "clean place for the
students where there would be no liquor", have applied for a liquor license
so they can sell beer. David is inclined to take up for the Tolands,
sighting the many good things they have done for the community ( and they
have, such as being instrumental in getting another doctor here) and he will
not come out definitely against the beer. The young people do have some
church people seriously questioning their beliefs, and I think this is
great. The Snyder men for instance - Ken S. borrowed one of the children's
talks so he could think about how he would answer the questions in them, and
David has arranged for a discussion time next Sat afternoon as a result of
this.
I think the center of a small town is likely to be not the home or the
church but the community, and it's fascinating. The children feel this also.
We're fortunate that this town is made up of a variety of people, and I like
being with various groups: the international club, the church, our great dec
isions group, the party group, the artists, etc. Surprising as it may seem,
there is more variety here for us than in Bala Cynwyd. - at least that we
are really a part of.
It's interesting to me that the four boys who went off to private school
(George School - Quaker) at the 8th or 9th grade with the good possibility
of going on to an Ivy League College are all home again in Alfred. Tom
Randall spent one year at Syracuse, did all right but much to the surprise
of his parents, didn't want to go back and is in the design course here.
Ted Randall is doing well at Alfred Tech after floundering around here and
there. (I know their mother had dreams of Yale for both of them -that's
where their father went.) Mark Sibley started out in Weslian and is now
here in liberal arts. Rob Turner was in his second year at Swarthmore and
came home last week and announced he wasn't going back.
I find having an 18 year old at home or anywhere is difficult. This has
been a difficult year for Wyn. One should accept one's child as she is at
this point I expect and not try to change her, push her, look at her
anxiously. I feel guilty; she feels guilty; Bill feels guilty! Ugh! Here
is the adult that you brought up. She is no longer an extension of you; she
is an individual. Can parents ever accept their children that way - as
individuals with faults, strengths, weaknesses like every one else without
taking blame for the faults and feeling guilty. It's a dilemma because
guilt is a damaging thing. At a dinner party the other night a mother was
proudly telling about how her son got into Annapolis on his own initiative -
making contact with Senator Javitts etc. She had told us earlier that she
and her husband knew how to bring up children - one reason being she had
taught school for a number of years, and her methods courses had been
tremendously helpful. I thought she was stupid, and yet I bet that
confidence she has is instilled in that boy; he feels lucky he has such
confident parents, and he is ready to face the world. When you can stand
away and look at life, it's a riot.
Your letters are wonderful. Jim's poem struck me - he can stand away and
look at the army with all its inconsistencies. Bill said the motto of the
armed services is "Hurry up and wait." Hurry up to get ready to pull out
for instance, and then wait.
Mandy came home with a poor report card. Cheerleading, boys, telephone
calls, figuring our girlfriends' problems have taken precedence over all.
She has made rules for herself like no telephone calls after 6:00. It's
going to be hard. Her aptitudes in tests she took showed highest in art and
persuasives. And she has almost persuaded me she can stick to those rules.
She is interested in human relations - history, peoples' problems - and is
sensitive to feelings of others. She speaks well and does very well orally
in school but she can't write! Her spelling is atrocious!
Bill is too busy. He is president of the national arts teachers assn. -
something like that - teachers of pottery in universities. Anyway their
meeting is next week in Michigan. And he is looking forward to it because
all the work will be done then, and he likes the other men and knows most of
them well.
I have much more to say - can you believe it?
Must go.
Love,
Nellie
Sunday, January 7, 2007
hello and greetings from branchport
well, it is time for CAROL to add her two cents worth... i just got off the phone with doug, so this may bore him. oh, well! we had recently gotten home from a relaxing weekend socializing with nudist friends that we had not seen in months. one of our "witchlets" (young person interested in wiccan religion) came along with us and got me to feeling like a mom. we stayed at the schloss estate on vassar street in an wonderful older neighborhood. we all went to the swim at the athletic club on saturday night with hot tubbing, swimming, sauna and refreshments at a nice club in downtown rochchacha. the schloss estate is run by two single males who maintain the pools, sauna and residence while morley and ann winter in their club in florida. after a night's rest there we were greeted with hot coffee and our individual orders for omelets taken. as we socialized in the congenial common area, more friends showed up. in all there were about 10 of us ranging in age from 12ish to 63. the conversations were spirited and the interchanges warm. it was like i imagine an intentional community would be like. we were served our omelets to order as interchanges ensued and children played with "buddy" which was fun to watch. after breakfast settled, someone announced that the pool was open, so the socializing moved to the pools. more hot tubbing and conversation and it was time to head home. with lotsa hugs goodbye we left recharged and me very contented.
huge thanks to douglas for taking dad to the doctors and helping as a "go between/interpreter" with communicating to the doctor and helping to get medications correctly administered. i appreciate all doug does to care for our pop! atta boy, doug. and thank you, thank you, thank you ad infinitum.
barb and i will be heading south in a couple weeks to see extended family (darrell and nancy casey especially), attend the naturist festival we love at morley shloss' club "sunsport" and maybe do some touristee things like going to see the manatees again, but mostly soaking up the warm, swimming and lazing at the pool. we don't deem to get through ny winters without a break anymore, even with the mild winter weather.
that is all i have to say for now, 'cept i love ya'all!!
so now i have blogged? gee, i do not feel any different, shouldn't i feel/be different?
huge thanks to douglas for taking dad to the doctors and helping as a "go between/interpreter" with communicating to the doctor and helping to get medications correctly administered. i appreciate all doug does to care for our pop! atta boy, doug. and thank you, thank you, thank you ad infinitum.
barb and i will be heading south in a couple weeks to see extended family (darrell and nancy casey especially), attend the naturist festival we love at morley shloss' club "sunsport" and maybe do some touristee things like going to see the manatees again, but mostly soaking up the warm, swimming and lazing at the pool. we don't deem to get through ny winters without a break anymore, even with the mild winter weather.
that is all i have to say for now, 'cept i love ya'all!!
so now i have blogged? gee, i do not feel any different, shouldn't i feel/be different?
Saturday, January 6, 2007
bert and cathy?
Doug,
Have you been able to convince Bert and Cathy to join into the maelstrom? Maybe they are reading it without submitting or commenting. Or maybe they can't see it until they add it to their active slate, whatever that means. As I said early on, the thing I like about blogs over email is that you usually get to it when you're ready for it, it doesn't get lost in stacks of unrelated messages (threads is good).
After the lovely day of galleryhopping -- http://shermaniablog.blogspot.com/2007/01/words-numbers-cities.html, I got home to messages from Sonny. He's been around again lately and, well, I really don't want to talk about it very much (maybe it would help but ...) ... he had lost his job again (lying on his resume about having graduated from high school) and needed me to buy a Christmas present for his son. Well, since everything has to be a production, of course it didn't have some part so we've been back to KMart a couple times about that. Now, it's not a part that's missing, it's the little programs for the easel. The Fisher Price Spark Easel is one of those overengineered and cutesy things that make me realize the value of Kim's educational principles. I'd not be as strict (I wouldn't be as strict about anything!!) but kids are indeed better off with boxes.
Well, here it is late again and I'm sitting in the office typing. If I had a computer and fast connection at home, I'd probably be on it all of the time ... well, no, I wouldn't but I bet I'd get more blogging done as well as probably cruising down the 'net more.
Tomorrow should be interesting. I'm meeting an artist/librarian at Proteus Gowanus to talk about the cataloging he does for his art project entitled the Reanimation Library. He collects books for the illustrative content rather than the topical content. He has bunches of older manuals and whatnot, the sort that have quirky diagrams. If you want to see more: http://www.reanimationlibrary.org/
Love to you and Dad and Jeanette and Ian --
Sherman
Have you been able to convince Bert and Cathy to join into the maelstrom? Maybe they are reading it without submitting or commenting. Or maybe they can't see it until they add it to their active slate, whatever that means. As I said early on, the thing I like about blogs over email is that you usually get to it when you're ready for it, it doesn't get lost in stacks of unrelated messages (threads is good).
After the lovely day of galleryhopping -- http://shermaniablog.blogspot.com/2007/01/words-numbers-cities.html, I got home to messages from Sonny. He's been around again lately and, well, I really don't want to talk about it very much (maybe it would help but ...) ... he had lost his job again (lying on his resume about having graduated from high school) and needed me to buy a Christmas present for his son. Well, since everything has to be a production, of course it didn't have some part so we've been back to KMart a couple times about that. Now, it's not a part that's missing, it's the little programs for the easel. The Fisher Price Spark Easel is one of those overengineered and cutesy things that make me realize the value of Kim's educational principles. I'd not be as strict (I wouldn't be as strict about anything!!) but kids are indeed better off with boxes.
Well, here it is late again and I'm sitting in the office typing. If I had a computer and fast connection at home, I'd probably be on it all of the time ... well, no, I wouldn't but I bet I'd get more blogging done as well as probably cruising down the 'net more.
Tomorrow should be interesting. I'm meeting an artist/librarian at Proteus Gowanus to talk about the cataloging he does for his art project entitled the Reanimation Library. He collects books for the illustrative content rather than the topical content. He has bunches of older manuals and whatnot, the sort that have quirky diagrams. If you want to see more: http://www.reanimationlibrary.org/
Love to you and Dad and Jeanette and Ian --
Sherman
Friday, January 5, 2007
medical update on Dad (and other stuff)
We talked with Dad (and among ourselves) at Thanksgiving about the fact that Dad has what is called Congestive Heart Failure and therefore is at risk for stroke (cardiovascular accident) and heart attack (myocardial infarction). I tried to scare him a bit with the idea that his having a stroke would be debilitating and make him quite dependent (a state I'm sure he abhors), hoping to get him to take an interest in more aggressive treatment of the condition, which he had rejected a couple years ago after starting on Coumadin treatment down in SC. I have tried several times to convince him that he should re-consider.
We had missed connections with Doctor Coch this autumn, but I set up an appointment with him for earlier today, so now I have much to report:
I have gone into the interview with Dad for his last several visits, and did again today. Dad told Dr. (Bill) Coch he was having problems with orientation and when Bill asked more about it, Dad said something about not knowing how he fits into the community, rather than "I start downtown and can't figure if I'm on North Main or South Main" or something like that. Then he said he was having trouble remembering things, but it wasn't until later that we clarified that, when I gave a couple examples (like not remembering how to turn off just the TV (he keeps turning off the cable tuner, which makes the TV screen dark but the TV is still very much ON) or run the computer. I didn't get around to mentioning that he has mixed up when Jill's wedding was to be, when a dish-to-pass was happening, and so on.
Bill asked him a number of questions about himself but Dad's answers were more about the lack of "moral energy" in the world than about how he felt and how he was doing. Bill inquired about what else was bothering him and then had to go work with other patients and come back to us, during which time I tried to coax out some more personal, specific answers from Dad. As Jeanette said, later today, Dad just doesn't know how to talk about how he feels, much.
When Bill came back, I was able to help Dad convey that he sometimes feels like he should be in a time or place that he's not, or that he starts to do something but forgets what it was, and that sort of thing.
Bill asked him to remember three items and then did some other stuff, like cleaning out his ears, which were both jammed with wax. He said that was not the cause of the ringing in his ears, but that it was just tinitis, and not unusual for his age.
I entered into the conversation more by this time, and Bill asked Dad if it was ok for him to talk with me about Dad, with Dad right there; Dad said that was fine, so I told Bill I felt Dad's mental keenness has gradually declined over the last 6 years or so, among other things. Then Dad answered most of Bill's memory questions pretty well (and Bill said he had done better than he thought he might), but could only remember one of the three things Bill had asked him to.
After we had talked a bit more, Bill reported his findings: Dad's CHF is worse; specifically, he is fibrillating (muscular twitching involving individual muscle fibers acting without coordination OR very rapid irregular contractions of the muscle fibers of the heart resulting in a lack of synchronism between heartbeat and pulse) and his valve leakage is worse than the last time Coch saw him. Bill thinks Dad is depressed, and noted edema (fluid retention, swelling), especially in his right leg. He used a scalpel to remove a callous from the right side of Dad's right foot, and didn't find any moles or other dermal conditions worthy of concern, and expressed pleasure that Dad hadn't had any more cancer since his surgery. He thinks Dad should go back to Dr. Greenberg about his eyes (Dad says the eye he thinks has early cataract formation is "seeing" better than the other eye) and should call Bill if he notices shortness of breath and swelling together, especially if it's when he's lying down.
We talked more about medications and treatment and such, and Bill said he didn't think Coumadin (blood thinnner) would be very beneficial at this point, whereas he had thought so the last time we met with him. Part of this is because Dad is living alone and any accidental injury would tend to bleed uncontrollably. Speaking of such things, did anyone know Dad fell in the tub this fall? When he mentioned it at the Doctor's office today, he said it was three weeks ago, but when I asked him more about it over lunch, he said it was probably September, and that he had not told me because he didn't want to worry me (us). Yeah, right.....and I told him (again!!!) that I HATE it when he "protects" me by not telling me something (which means by the time I learn about it, it's too late to help), and that I would forgive him this time but to please NEVER do that again.
At this point, Dr. Coch recommends an ACE (angiotensin converting enzyme) Inhibitor (Lisinop -- see http://www.medications4dumbbells.com/ and look for Lisinopril) and an antidepressant (Fluoxetine, otherwise known as Prozac). He also recommended reducing sodium intake and said he might prescribe a diuretic later. We set up a follow-up visit for February 19th.
After some lunch, we filled his prescriptions for the ACE Inhibitor and Prozac, and Tony is enrolling Dad in a program that reduces what he pays SIGNIFICANTLY.
Dad was already on a daily aspirin regimen, but Bill said he should be taking coated baby aspirin. When I got to the drug store, I found that baby aspirin is only 80mg, but he'd been taking 325mg aspirin. Anyway, I got him the right stuff and he set up a daily pill-taking container for himself.
Jeanette is concerned that he is falling asleep an awful lot -- sitting up, mid-conversation, etc. -- and that he might actually fall out of his chair sometime. And I am even more concerned, after he dozed off right in the middle of a sentence I was speaking to him, and then 4 or 5 more times within a half-hour, today, even though he was trying to accomplish something. I had stopped over at his house sometime a week or two ago, and he was sound asleep at 8:30pm. Not like the man I remember who was up late, writing in his diary but still up well before me in the morning.
Anyway, I wanted to let you all know about this stuff.
We had missed connections with Doctor Coch this autumn, but I set up an appointment with him for earlier today, so now I have much to report:
I have gone into the interview with Dad for his last several visits, and did again today. Dad told Dr. (Bill) Coch he was having problems with orientation and when Bill asked more about it, Dad said something about not knowing how he fits into the community, rather than "I start downtown and can't figure if I'm on North Main or South Main" or something like that. Then he said he was having trouble remembering things, but it wasn't until later that we clarified that, when I gave a couple examples (like not remembering how to turn off just the TV (he keeps turning off the cable tuner, which makes the TV screen dark but the TV is still very much ON) or run the computer. I didn't get around to mentioning that he has mixed up when Jill's wedding was to be, when a dish-to-pass was happening, and so on.
Bill asked him a number of questions about himself but Dad's answers were more about the lack of "moral energy" in the world than about how he felt and how he was doing. Bill inquired about what else was bothering him and then had to go work with other patients and come back to us, during which time I tried to coax out some more personal, specific answers from Dad. As Jeanette said, later today, Dad just doesn't know how to talk about how he feels, much.
When Bill came back, I was able to help Dad convey that he sometimes feels like he should be in a time or place that he's not, or that he starts to do something but forgets what it was, and that sort of thing.
Bill asked him to remember three items and then did some other stuff, like cleaning out his ears, which were both jammed with wax. He said that was not the cause of the ringing in his ears, but that it was just tinitis, and not unusual for his age.
I entered into the conversation more by this time, and Bill asked Dad if it was ok for him to talk with me about Dad, with Dad right there; Dad said that was fine, so I told Bill I felt Dad's mental keenness has gradually declined over the last 6 years or so, among other things. Then Dad answered most of Bill's memory questions pretty well (and Bill said he had done better than he thought he might), but could only remember one of the three things Bill had asked him to.
After we had talked a bit more, Bill reported his findings: Dad's CHF is worse; specifically, he is fibrillating (muscular twitching involving individual muscle fibers acting without coordination OR very rapid irregular contractions of the muscle fibers of the heart resulting in a lack of synchronism between heartbeat and pulse) and his valve leakage is worse than the last time Coch saw him. Bill thinks Dad is depressed, and noted edema (fluid retention, swelling), especially in his right leg. He used a scalpel to remove a callous from the right side of Dad's right foot, and didn't find any moles or other dermal conditions worthy of concern, and expressed pleasure that Dad hadn't had any more cancer since his surgery. He thinks Dad should go back to Dr. Greenberg about his eyes (Dad says the eye he thinks has early cataract formation is "seeing" better than the other eye) and should call Bill if he notices shortness of breath and swelling together, especially if it's when he's lying down.
We talked more about medications and treatment and such, and Bill said he didn't think Coumadin (blood thinnner) would be very beneficial at this point, whereas he had thought so the last time we met with him. Part of this is because Dad is living alone and any accidental injury would tend to bleed uncontrollably. Speaking of such things, did anyone know Dad fell in the tub this fall? When he mentioned it at the Doctor's office today, he said it was three weeks ago, but when I asked him more about it over lunch, he said it was probably September, and that he had not told me because he didn't want to worry me (us). Yeah, right.....and I told him (again!!!) that I HATE it when he "protects" me by not telling me something (which means by the time I learn about it, it's too late to help), and that I would forgive him this time but to please NEVER do that again.
At this point, Dr. Coch recommends an ACE (angiotensin converting enzyme) Inhibitor (Lisinop -- see http://www.medications4dumbbells.com/ and look for Lisinopril) and an antidepressant (Fluoxetine, otherwise known as Prozac). He also recommended reducing sodium intake and said he might prescribe a diuretic later. We set up a follow-up visit for February 19th.
After some lunch, we filled his prescriptions for the ACE Inhibitor and Prozac, and Tony is enrolling Dad in a program that reduces what he pays SIGNIFICANTLY.
Dad was already on a daily aspirin regimen, but Bill said he should be taking coated baby aspirin. When I got to the drug store, I found that baby aspirin is only 80mg, but he'd been taking 325mg aspirin. Anyway, I got him the right stuff and he set up a daily pill-taking container for himself.
Jeanette is concerned that he is falling asleep an awful lot -- sitting up, mid-conversation, etc. -- and that he might actually fall out of his chair sometime. And I am even more concerned, after he dozed off right in the middle of a sentence I was speaking to him, and then 4 or 5 more times within a half-hour, today, even though he was trying to accomplish something. I had stopped over at his house sometime a week or two ago, and he was sound asleep at 8:30pm. Not like the man I remember who was up late, writing in his diary but still up well before me in the morning.
Anyway, I wanted to let you all know about this stuff.
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
torment? foment?
I didn't sleep too well last night and, one of the times I woke up, Mom was in the dream (not tormented or tormenting). She was in a red coat and coming into a stream of traffic where I caught up to her and joined her. As I tossed, I was thinking about Doug's comments about feeling inadequate. I guess that's something we've all felt, that is, all 7 of us in the Dave Clarke Seven. We know how much better we could be, we know how much more we could do. At the same time, we have all accomplished something in life, and are all-around rather good people. But we still feel inadequate somehow. It's that confidence walking into a room that, I think, affected how Mom felt about herself and how she dealt with some others. And, here, it's particular relationships I'm thinking of. I've been in the office too long already and must leave before the whatevers come to take me away, ha ha.
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