Sunday, May 13, 2007

new post(s)

Doug and all,
I hadn't been here for a while except to post my Swiss flight info. I'm doubly anxious about the trip: I strained my back yesterday morning so wondering about this frail body we shlep around (which of course brings the Dad saga to mind); Mac and I had dinner last night to talk about plans for Switzerland and it wasn't a free-flow conversation. I'm not sure this will work out so well but, hey, I just have to keep it in perspective.

The various posts about Dad evoked a wide mix of emotions. I am so sorry that my stuff at 33 is adding a layer of havoc. I wonder if it would make sense to move it all to a storage facility. Sometimes, I wish it would all fall off the face of the earth but not really. I'm sure in your bleak moments you too wish that ... but only a very short moment: no more than the time to have the thought and banish it.

I don't have a problem with nieces and nephews on the blog. I agree that a new post is more obvious than a new comment even if you have access to the "edit posts" table where comments are listed.

As I said to myself in my diary (but not blog, more below), I so hope that I don't live to the point where I'm more worried about if I'm there than being there. That is, even more than losing my mind, I don't want to lose my way. I was very envious of the woman who wrote in the Times Magazine a while ago about her cancer diagnosis and deciding not to get treated but to find the cabin she had always wanted and spent the last few months writing. My friend Tee also seemed to have control of her dying. As I mailed the newsletters last night at the 24/7 postoffice, there were a couple old guys there. One was at the window, the other shuffled up but was dismissed by the one at the window. They looked more like relatives than partners or roommates. I thought of Dad shuffling around to try to accomplish a relatively minor task, emphasis on the task because minor is of course relative to a whole lot of things. If you lack physical dexterity, getting the fork into your mouth can be a major task.

My level of distraction must be in high gear today. I've drifted off to several other tasks (relatively minor) as I've been trying to write this post. It has severed the relationship to my memory of Doug's posts. Of course that is one advantage of commenting rather than newposting; you can get to the original entry easier ... of course I could save and edit after re-reading. Or even edit after publishing.

Mac and I are going to "American Fiesta" this afternoon -- a play about Fiestaware with a gay subtheme and red/blue states thrown in for good measure. cf So I better get cracking on eliminating messages or my email box will be stuffed before I even get to the airport. If you're sending messages during the rest of the month, please send to which had a bigger capacity.

Love to you all.....

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